Dancing in the Light

Shame

2009-11-28T23:43:00.002-06:00

I have been thinking about this post for quite some time. I remember growing up and how heavy shame was. Everytime I did something I knew was wrong, it ate me alive inside, no matter how hard I tried to cover it up. A lie did not assuage my guilt. A manipulation did not make my palms any less sweaty. Flat out denial did not make it easier for me to stand for the invitation song on Sunday morning and NOT go forward. Shame was so heavy! It made looking in my parent's eyes almost impossible. It made breathing difficult and sleeping a chore. It became so stifling that I finally had to confess just so I could survive. Most of us can identify with this. But it seems to me that we have changed. Our society and its shame response is so different than it was even twenty years ago.
First of all, it takes a lot more to make us feel ashamed. Nothing is private, nothing is embarrassing, nothing is off limits. Is it because society has shaped our consciences? There was a time when there were public topics and private topics and everyone respected that, or at least most people did. We behaved in public decently and respectably and we never ever talked about certain subjects--we would have been too ashamed. There was a time when our clothing was important. We were ashamed if our clothing was dirty, ill fitting or showed our underwear.
There was a time when we cared about our reputations. We protected our family name and our image as well as that of our children. We didn't lie, we didn't cheat and we didn't steal. We paid our bills and our taxes. We worked hard and we didn't cohabitate outside of marriage. We would have been ashamed to live otherwise.
So I see us doing all the things that twenty years ago were considered shameful. We do them without a second thought and they have become commonplace. And so I wonder what does it take to shame us now? Maybe we have become so adept at taking grace for granted that we no longer feel shame. Perhaps we have convinced ourselves that our God is a God of love (and that He is) and that as a God of love, He only wants us to be happy and He understands how important it is to . . . . (fill in the blank) and that He will be merciful and gracious and we will not be punished. Once we convince ourselves of this, it becomes pretty easy to continue in our shameful behaviors. And since the church has become so "pc" we know that our brothers and sisters will not interfere in our lives.
Am I the only one who is disturbed about this? Am I seeing too much negative and not enough positive? There are times when I feel I can relate to the prophets of old----seeing a dangerous trend in God's chosen people. I am concerned for us----I worry about us when we begin to cover or stifle our shame until that feeling is gone. Shame is a good thing--unpleasant yes, but it is shame, a guilty conscience that is the catalyst to repentance. So one must wonder if we become a people who feel no shame will we become an unrepentant nation?
Ephesians tells us that we are children of light and should walk as children of light. We are told that there are secret shameful things that are done in darkness and that they are so shameful they should not even be spoken of in the light. We are the chosen ones--the ones picked by God to be different--to live by different standards------standards that are higher than those of the world. We are the ones who are shamed by sin and because of that shame, we try to stay as far away from it as possible. We are the ones whose lives are filled with gratitude for the grace and mercy of our Father. We no longer take grace for granted.
Once we have lost the ability to blush, we are no longer different from the world. We are living below our calling. Shame on us!

blessings
neva

LOST

2009-11-01T13:35:00.002-06:00

So I was driving home from work the other day--in a hurry to get home, as usual--tired from the day, as usual, and pretty inpatient, also as usual. I am behind a blue minivan that is driving very slowly. The driver waits at the green light, looking both ways, looking again, and then has the passenger look both ways and look again--I yell, "the light is green, goofball"--(as if they can hear me). Finally the blue minivan signals right and heads down my street! Great--now I get to follow them even further. "I am never going to get home", I think in my best "drama queen" voice. I notice as they drive down my street, that they slow and speed up, slow and speed up, both the passenger and the driver looking and looking out the windows at the house numbers. "What are you? Lost?" I shout!

Almost immediately, I am saddened at my loss of patience for those so obviously lost! I began to wonder how that translates into my emotions toward those who are lost spiritually. If I get so upset with someone who can't find their way, simply because it makes me a few minutes later getting home---then just maybe I think my time is way too precious! Perhaps my values are skewed. I mean honestly folks, its not like I was late for an appointment to do emergency brain surgery on a woman pregnant with quadruplets who had been hit in the head by a taco bell sign blown down by the wind! I was in a hurry to get home, change clothes, feed my face and look at facebook! Pretty important stuff don't you think? I was ashamed and began thinking about my attitude and asking God to change it----until . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I noticed that the minivan had 15 county plates---ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Y'all--that's North Platte--that's where I live. They were not lost at all--they just acted like it--the nerve of some people. I felt my ire rising again and frustration oozing out of every pore. Then all of the sudden, the God of the universe, the One who saved me, loves me and whom I worship, reached down, slapped me upside the head and said,, "Indeed" (now in case I have to clarify, I didn't literally see His hand reach down from heaven and hear His voice, but I did feel a heavy feeling in my stomach and my heart sinking and my conscience began to hurt). I mean here I was getting all upset, being frustrated, judging someone else, and being indignant that everything just wasn't going my way. Oh what a sight I must have been--what a picture I must have painted. Why I bet I looked just like someone who was . . . .lost!

peace and prayers,

Tomorrow

2009-08-11T19:12:00.002-05:00

My dear friends, thank you all for your prayers, notes and cards. I am doing better--each day God works in my life and I am very grateful. My cancer marker proved to be a false marker as a result of some bleeding in my abdomen. That has been taken care of and like a well behaved little marker, it returned to normal levels. Praise God, there is no sign of cancer!
I currently have a blood clot in my arm and one in my leg. While they are painful, they are pretty small and pretty superficial and along with the IVC filter in my vena cava, they are not too big a worry. The doctors are having a difficult time regulating my blood, it is always either too thin or too thick, so that remains an issue. However, I am sleeping at night--all night, and I am keeping food down a little over half the time. This is such an improvement! I take about 28 meds and doc is working on reducing some of those. (my wallet and my stomach would appreciate that--grin).
On the work front, I prayed that God would protect my job and my health insurance but He did even better! I start my NEW job on Monday! I am very excited! It is in the nicest nursing home in town and I will not be doing marketing or admissions---only social work! I will get to minister to people without worrying about whether they have money or not! I am thrilled and so grateful!
Tomorrow is my 49th birthday and I am so happy! I know it is not a big milestone like 21, 40 or even 50, but twice this year, I was told I probably would not make it to this birthday. When those medical professionals I trust and to whom I have entrusted my life, are concerned that I might not make it through the night, it makes me take time to think seriously about this life of mine. All the memories of a glorious life came to mind and today they are joined by other memories. I will not forget the look in my husband's eyes as he tried to remain strong for me, all the while preparing himself to be without me. I will not forget the tear in the eye of my family doctor while we talked about my close call with death. I will not forget the joy I felt when my son, my daughter in law and my grandkids drove all the way from Florida to see me. I will not forget the outpouring of love and concern from my friends, the church family, and co-workers. You called, you visited, you twittered and blogged but most of all, you prayed and I can never thank you enough--God heard your prayers.
I do not know what the future holds, like the past I am sure it will be filled with ups and downs. But for now, I am "bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord my God." I Sam. 25:29 and I am thankful for every day. And so tomorrow--Happy Birthday to me!

blessings,
neva

New Post--same request :(

2009-06-11T21:00:00.003-05:00

I know it has been ages since I have posted! I feel guilty even posting now--it has been so long and once again, I come to you, my blogfriends, with a prayer request.
I have not posted because I have been very ill. In March I collapsed at home, was taken by ambulance to the hospital, where they found seven bloodclots in my heart and lungs. I was not expected to make it but with the prayers of my friends and the healing touch of the Master, I recovered. They thought the clots came from my spleen which was very enlarged--so they did all kinds of tests, including a bone marrow biopsy (not too much fun) and finally in April, they removed my spleen. It was not cancerous, but was so large, they had to cut two abdominal muscles, peel it from around my pancreas and re -inflate a lung it had collapsed. I immediately got pneumonia and had a tap that removed the fluid. I began to recuperate, again thanks to the prayers of my friends and the care of the Father. I was home four days, had a follow up appt and was immediately put back in the hospital. My blood was so thin, I had to have 6 units of fresh frozen plasma and 3 of whole blood. Once again, they were not sure I would make it but God knew differently, He'd heard your prayers.
Tuesday of this week, I went in for follow up appt. My labs were skewed, my BP was only 100/42 and my blood was too thin again. So back into the hospital I went for two days. I received more blood products and had an upper and lower gi scope. They found nothing except that my ovarian cancer marker (C125) is high. So next week I go to see yet another doctor.

I have been unable to keep anything on my stomach and have lost a total of 51 lbs since the end of February. I am tired of feeling bad and being unable to know what is wrong! I am tired of having to have someone else cover my ladies classes and my support groups, not to mention my job. And today my boss told me that my job is in jeopardy. She said it was a verbal warning and while "she understands" I can't help it, "the company needs someone who is there to do the job". -----------Y'all, MY job pays our health insurance. That is why I work, too! I am more anxious now about not being well!

So once again, my friends, like a street beggar, I am pleading with you for prayers. I want to be well and useful in the Kingdom again. I don't want my husband to be worried and concerned for my health all the time and I don't want him to have the added burden of no insurance. It is late and I am tired and perhaps later I will look back at this post and delete it for being the selfish worries of a faithless woman, but for tonight, for right now, I covet your prayers.

n

The Non-Proverbs 31 Woman

2009-04-12T00:42:00.001-05:00

The wife with little character is easy to find. She values herself more than she values those around her.
She drives her husband away with her constant wanting of more and her dissatisfaction with the lifestyle he can provide.
She regales friends and family with his faults and he is easily replaced.
Her house is always a mess, dishes in the sink, dirty laundry on the floor, and beds unmade.
She picks up takeout or makes reservations for meals.
She hits the snooze bar until she must yell and fuss at her children, hurrying them to get ready for school, wearing wrinkled clothes that do not match and without breakfast.
She has a job but spends her money on pedicures and manicures, nights out with the girls and new clothes and diet coke.
She is a lazy worker, taking long lunches, playing on the computer and watching the clock.
She whines and complains about the things she lacks. She sees only her own plight, uncaring and unseeing the needs of others.
She destroys her husbands reputation, talking to anyone who will listen, even embellishing his misdeeds in order to make her point. She shows no discretion is airing her problems.
She uses any and every medium to share her "story" and her "struggles" playing on the sympathy of all she meets, elevating herself and diminishing others.
Her wisdom is worldly and distorted. She values not her relationships, readily discarding others when they are no longer of use to her.
She leaves the raising of her children to anyone who will watch them and fleaves them with a sitter or family members often.
Her children defend her now but they will not call her when they are grown. (They learned about relationships from her)
Her husband looks back and thinks of her as the "greatest mistake of his life".
Many women do ignoble things but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but true character cannot be hidden.
God is not fooled. She will have her reward and her works will be talked about at the city gate.

I got this the other day. It was supposedly written after watching that U-Tube video and hearing the report about the socialite Patricia-Walsh Smith. But I thought it was very telling, don't you?
Neva

Intentional Healing, Deliberate Growth

2009-01-20T21:43:00.003-06:00

I have been thinking about this post for a long long time--or at least the concept of it. There are few if any, people in the world who have not been wounded or hurt at one time or another. Onc can scarcely make it into adulthood without the typical teenage woes and wounds. And as adults, we have family baggage, work conflicts, marriage issues, and general life struggles. Each have the potential to harm us and stunt our spiritual or emotional growth. Most of us encounter daily struggles of a minimal sort--the vacuum cleaner broke, we had a flat tire, we were volunteered for a bake sale that starts at 6 am tomorrow!!!! You know the struggles, I am talking about--the ones that make up this crazy thing we call "LIFE". The minimal and daily trials are not the ones that derail us---we are most often able to just deal with the problem and get on with life. Growing and maturing in spite of the trouble, almost as if growing by accident.
And then there are the big things, the ones that are mountains in the road rather than rocks. These are more than stumbling blocks, they are backbreaking, relationship ruining, esteem destroying, life changing crises! They leave us battered and scarred and worse for the wear, tired and fatigued, emotionally drained and empty. They are the unfaithful spouse, the loss of a child, the ravaged mind of a parent with dementia, the tornado, hurricane, flood and fire. They are the events that bankrupt our spirits and our very souls. We don't bounce back from these as easily or accidentally as we do from the little day-to-day trials. These struggles call for us to do some emotional and spiritual work. It is during this dark time that we hit our knees and as we wipe the tears from our eyes, we cry out in anguish to the God of heaven, begging for reprieve, comfort and strength. As the weeping subsides, we dust off our pantlegs and stand, albeit on shaky legs, we stand. And right there, we decide to move on. We resolve to heal and grow in spite of the circumstances. We begin to plan the course of action that will help us heal. That plan may include counseling, prayer, medications or even work. The plan requires action and determination. The epiphany made so clear in the darkest of times is that this healing will not just happen. We will not be able to glide into wholeness. We will have to work at it if we are to find our way out of despair. And find our way out, we do. And years later when the sun is once again visible in our lives, we look back in amazement--marvelling at where we were and how far we've come.
It seems this same thing would apply to churches that have undergone some serious spiritual struggles, like the adultery of the preacher, a split, loss of an eldership or any other major crisis that can wound and threaten to destroy a congregation. The congregation has to make a conscious decision to heal through their disappointment and shame, or rather in spite of it. Licking our wounds might feel good but it does not help us grow. It moves us no further down the road. I know, as I am sure you do, of many congregations who suffer a loss and then never grow again, the life of the church is like a body on life support, no reactions, no responses and no interactions and therefore little hope. And the brethren dwindle away and gradually die or move until they are taken off life support to die, (this is when the last little old man turns off the lights for the final time and locks the door, leaving the community with no congregation of the Lord's body).
Whether individually or congregationally, wounds and trials can stunt our growth and when we do not grow, we die. We must decide to heal, and resolve to grow. There is no other option if we are to survive. God is good and once our healing becomes intentional and our growth deliberate, He will breath life into our tired body, He will bind up our wounds, carry our burdens, and comfort our souls. With His touch, we will survive and we will live.

Blessings,
Neva

What's The Deal With Procrastination?

2009-01-12T18:22:00.002-06:00

I just have to ask----"what is the deal with procrastination?" There are very few characteristics I find as annoying as this one! Truly! Does this frustrate anyone else? It frustrates me for several reasons:

Procrastination takes away one's choices. If we have three choices and we can't make up our minds so we put it off and put if off and put if off until one by one the other two choices are no longer available, leaving us with only one---and therefore no choice really. (Does that make sense?)
Procrastination causes stress. When we put off a task until the very last minute, we have to rush around to complete it and stress is not good for us. It causes us to age and gain weight (watch Dr Phil if you don't believe me.) :)
Procrastination results in us giving us less than our very best. Very few of us produce our best product when we hurry to get it done.
Procrastination causes us to lie. We promise not to wait until the last minute again, we promise to not put things off and then we put off following through with our promise.

These are just a few reasons I hate procrastination! You got any more? Anybody have any scripture about this? Or am I the only one who doesn't like it?

Blessings

Neva

PS. I was going to post this earlier but . . . . . . (grin)

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

2009-01-07T21:08:00.000-06:00

A few years ago, I met the mother of a friend. She was a very nice lady and we had a very enjoyable visit. The visit was not a deep, bare my soul, become lifelong friends type visit, (after all, I just met her) but it was nice all the same. As she left, she said goodbye and hugged me, telling me she would say a prayer for me. Thinking that was just a nice thing Christians say to one another, I thanked her. She said, "no, I mean it! I really am going to pray for you. I see in you great sadness and grief." I remember looking at her in disbelief. Sure, I'd had some rough times, multiple miscarriages, death of husband, a few weeks living in our car with an ill husband, a 3 month old and a two year old, death of my sister and her child, divorce of my parents to name a few, but I really thought I had dealt with each of those as a child of faith would. I felt I had grieved appropriately and had worked through that grief. Seeing my disbelief and perhaps even a bit of anger, she started asking me about what colors were in my house (blue--dark, deep blue) and what color I preferred in clothing , (again the same blue or black) and she launched into some long explanation about the color of grief and the soothing calm of deep blue waters and my need for that calm. I really didn't pay much attention to her, nor did I put much stock in her words. I mention it only to say that recently an old friend came to visit me and after staying for a week, she said it was nice to see me so calm and happy. Then she said, "there isn't even any blue in your house anymore--it is much more welcoming and warm". What? I knew I hadn't told her about that conversation. And yet . . . strange isn't it?
I began thinking about what has changed in my life. I began to realize that just as the children of Israel went through their time in the desert, so I'd had mine. And just as they'd relied totally on God, helpless on their own, so had I been. Realizing and accepting the fact that I was helpless in my grief and that the only lasting comfort came from Him, made me stronger, made me more joyful in the end. I realized that total dependence on Him results in total comfort and strength. And just as He is perfect, so is His comfort and His peace and His joy.
Everyday, I come across people with obvious sadness and grief. How I long to share with them the tidings of comfort and joy that comes with knowing and relying on God. I cannot imagine bearing my burdens on my own. I know my weaknesses and I have not the strength to withstand the trials life throws at me. But with God. . . . well to coin that old phrase... "Ain't no mountain high enough ....yeah I know I am taking the words to the song out of context but you know what I mean. Nothing too big, nothing too tall, nothing too dark, nothing to hard---not for my God. My God is my Rock, my Fortress, my Rescuer and my Sustainer. And my God promises to never leave me. I am happy and my comfort and joy are complete.---just had to share them with you.

Blessings
Neva

Ostracizing the Holy Spirit from the Godhead

2008-12-20T02:04:00.002-06:00

We had the most incredible gospel meeting. Our speaker was wonderful! I know I am not the only one still chewing on and mulling over the things that he said. He spoke one evening about the Holy Spirit and the way we relate to Him. He said that for years we have been so afraid we might seem charismatic or pentecostal that we have ostracized the Holy Spirit from the Godhead and have replaced Him with the Bible. Wow! I am thinking about this and wanted to know what you, my few faithful readers, think of this?

Comments?

Blessings
Neva

Whaddya call it when . . .

2008-12-16T23:05:00.002-06:00

You interview, hire and train a new assistant,
then fly across several states to spend time with an ailing parent,
then fly back across several states,
then have a death in the congregation,
then fall and shred your kneecap in a well known discount store,
then have surgery,
then have another death in the congregation,
then get a bacterial infection,
then go back to the hospital,
then get on medications,
then go to physical therapy,
then have fellowship dinner and the start of a gospel meeting?
You call it a very very good reason to have not blogged for an entire month.

I am however on the mend, life is settling down, therapy is almost over and the crutches will soon be gone. I have several blogposts on the brain and will be back soon. Thank you all for your prayers for my dad. He had his first and second chemos around Thanksgiving and was supposed to have more this week but his white blood count has dropped dangerously low and they are deciding what is the best course of action! Please keep praying! I miss you all!
Blessings
Neva

What I Learned From Divorce

2008-11-16T16:32:00.002-06:00

No, I have not been divorced, nor am I planning to be (as if anyone does that). But, I have suffered the effects of divorce being on the children of divorced parents side, as well as the parents of divorced children side. And there are some things I have learned. First of all I learned, that divorce has a far reaching impact. While it is the death of a marriage between two people, it wounds and scars the entire family. Parents, children, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles all hurt for the loss of this union. I have also learned that not thinking about it doesn't make it go away. Avoiding painful thoughts only avoids the thoughts--not the pain! I've learned there is really no such thing as a "no-fault" divorce. And . . . deciding who is at fault is not my place. Over the past few years, I have discovered that a divorce in the family changes everything! Planning family get togethers becomes much more difficult. No more holidays together as a family, no more family pictures, no more sharing in each celebration. "Stopping by to see the kids" means making two stops and dividing your time between them. Worshipping together as a family becomes nothing more than a dream. Relationships change not just the obvious changes between the couple, but also between mothers and daughters, fathers in law and sons in law. The conversations become guarded and often painful. The same two people who laughed and visited before, both securely at home in their role, now struggle for words to say and avoid certain topics. Divorce does that! Then there is the analyzing and over analyzing of the situation, the futile search to understand just what happened. This seems to last forever and feels more than strange, it is painful. I've learned that the truth is hidden somewhere in all the pain and hurt and that perhaps no one but God really truly knows it.
No doubt divorce is a cruel teacher! The lessons she insists we learn cause us incredible pain and as we suffer through the syllabus, we come away with a knowledge we wish we'd never needed. And yet, we learn that time and faith heal, that the love of God the Father transcends the relationship caverns left by divorce. We come away knowing that He knows our pain and His heart bleeds with ours. And one day, we realize that the hurt, the hard feelings and the shame have all been replaced by love and that the past is no longer that embarrassing piece of toilet paper dragging around on the bottom of our shoe. We have moved on and while our relationships are different, they are still good. The feelings have changed just as everyone involved has changed. But God, He is still God and He has not changed. Once again, He has carried us through yet another storm and set us upright in a brand new day!

Blessings
Neva

I Prayed Today!

2008-11-05T21:36:00.002-06:00

Today, I prayed! I prayed because it is Wednesday--and I have a very long list of friends on my Wednesday prayer list. I prayed today because today my friend, John Dobbs, is hurting once again. I prayed today because my mind is thinking about my Dad and the struggles ahead of him and the faith he and my brother and I are placing in the hands of his physicians. I prayed today because while I am not sure what the future holds for six of the most wonderful grandchildren in the world, I prayed they would know how loved they are, every hour, every minute, everyday. I prayed today for our country and the struggles that we as a nation will face as everyone adjusts to the new president. I prayed today because work has been extremely taxing, working an extra 28-35 hours every two weeks is hard on an old woman! I prayed today because tonight I got to be with my church family, I thanked God for them and the encouragement they give me. I prayed today thanking God for the love and patience of my friends in the blog world.

I prayed today because God says its okay for me to talk to Him about everything and anything!

Blessings
Neva

Prayers please!

2008-10-20T20:33:00.002-05:00

I know it has been several weeks since my last post--so much has been going on. Mostly, my father has been struggling with some health issues and some recent surgeries. He just called to tell me that he has been diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. He currently has a blood clot in his leg but once that issue has been resolved, he will begin chemo. Please keep him in your prayers. His name is Richard Thomas and he lives in the Seattle Washington area. He is only 68 years old and I love him!

WHY?

2008-10-04T09:12:00.002-05:00

You know how you get occasional reports from your stat counter? I have sitemeter--I seldom go to the thing--I put it here because someone told me it was cool. And it was at first, but then I sorta forgot about it. I remember it every time I am sent the little report that tells me how many hits etc. And then I go look at it and think "this is cool". Well, I just got my report and apparently someone hacked into my sitemeter--they linked to places I don't go to. No, not porn sites or anything like that, just blogs that I have made a conscious decision not to visit and sites I had decided to avoid. I am not sure where this person is from or how they got onto my sitementer. I have it narrowed down to someone in either LaVista, NE (not sure where exactly that is) or Denver CO. Not being computer brilliant, that is far as my feeble detective work can go.
I have nothing to hide and as AW says my blog is pretty "innocuous" so why? What could a middle America, old preacher's wife possibly have that would be worth hacking into? Why?
Instead of thinking how cool this is, all I can say is "WHY?"

Just askin
n

Staking my Claim

2008-10-02T00:49:00.002-05:00

I have a very dear friend. We are as different as night and day, from upbringing, to theology, to appearance, and yet we get along so very well. I have only known her a little over a year but it seems like longer. We talk on the phone at least once a week and she blesses me with every conversation. Like I said, we are different, especially in our faith--although we both believe in God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, she believes mostly in the Holy Spirit (if you get my drift). We often talk about God and His workings in our lives and in the history of the world. She is forever throwing out little sayings, some of them too charismatic for me and others just hit me in the heart. We were talking last night about the beauty of the season, the changing of the colors on the trees, the replacing of hot, dry air with crisp, cool air, the shortening of the days and the promise of winter. My friend was telling me how everyday on her walk, she is awestruck by some creation of the Father's. She said, "I look around me and I think, "I'll claim that blessing and that one too." (Don't you just love that?)
It caused me to think about just how much the Father wants to bless us and how He continually surrounds us with blessings, waiting and hoping for us to claim them as our own. Don't you think we would see more of our blessings if our spiritual awareness were heightened? Imagine sitting in worship with your brothers and sisters in Christ and claiming each and everyone of them as your blessing! And that sink of dirty dishes would seem less like an unending task if we remembered that not having to eat off the ground is a blessing. Praise God for the dirty laundry that piles up because the blessing of clothing is ours. There are blessings everywhere, we are surrounded by tokens of His love and caring for us---we just have to claim them as our own.
I often behave like I am at the airport and I stand next to the baggage carousel, so busily engaged in just the act of living, that my own luggage goes around and around and around. Sometimes life keeps me so busy that I forget to claim my blessings--
A wonderful christian husband who desires me, who works to help me get to heaven, who helps me be a better person, who protects, comforts and fights for me--well, I'll claim that blessing!
A church family who treat me like blood, who love me and are happy to see me, I'll claim that blessing too!
Faithful readers of my blog, who pray for me and with me, who offer encouragement and challenge my mind----well I am staking my claim on y'all, too!
My friends, open your eyes, look around you--see how much the Father loves you--He was just dying to bless you---stake your claim---the blessing is waiting!

Blessings
Neva

How to tell you've spent "too much time in prayer"

2008-09-19T21:43:00.002-05:00

When you are documenting in the progress note of a medical record and instead of signing your name with your credentials, you write "In Jesus name, amen".

While the title is definitely tongue-in-cheek---the experience today was enough to give everyone of my co-workers a chuckle and since you can't use whiteout in a medical record, you simply have to draw one thin line through it and then write, "Neva Cooper, Social Service Director, CSW"------oh well!

Blessings
neva

Live Like You're Loved

2008-09-14T19:48:00.003-05:00

Lately, I have been reading lots of blogs (including my own) that talk about the way Christians act or behave. They talk about us, God's Church, The Bride of the Redeemer, being unloving and meanspirited. They talk about us being judgemental and entitled and hypocritical. Maybe I am reading more into them that what is written but it seems that there are lots of problems and few solutions. I am not refuting any of the charges made against us (me). Nor am I making excuses. I merely wish to offer a solution.

Being a mental health professional, I believe that there are reasons behind actions. The way we respond to others, the way we manage crisis, the way we see the world and ourselves all relate, right or wrong, to our belief system. The anorexic believes herself/himself to be fat. The consummate con artist who takes advantage of everyone around him/her, believes himself/herself to be smarter than everyone else and thus more deserving. The beggar sees himself/herself as the ultimate victim thrust into situations not of their choosing and daily punished by the coldheartedness of others. Each in turn develops a response based on their beliefs about themselves. These responses, rooted so very deeply in their belief system, dictate what others see in them and the way they respond.
Simplistic maybe--simple--hardly. We treat others harshly because of something in our belief system that tells us, teaches us, that harsh treatment is the right choice. If this is true--and I personally believe it is, then we cannot change the way we behave until we change what we believe.
I love being Ned's wife. He provides for me and protects me. He loves me! Because I know that and believe it with all my heart, I am able to behave in a certain manner with him. I am not afraid to let him see my weaknesses, I know he loves me anyway. I am not afraid to confess my sins to him, he loves me anyway. I am not afraid to lean on him because I know he loves me. That confidence, that belief allows me to treat him with love and respect and loyalty. It is what makes my life absolutely wonderful!
And so, I have been thinking about what would happen if Christians truly, truly began to believe they were loved. If we were confident in the love God has for us, don't you think we would live differently? Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all lived like we are loved? Imagine for a moment, what that would look like.
Living like we are loved means that we live freely. We are not bound by legalistic traditions but by the words, the Word of God. We are according to Galatians, freed for freedom. We are free from death, set free by the blood of the Lamb. I've heard it said that from the moment we are born, we begin dying. And while that is true of the physical body, it is not true for the spiritual. Once we die and are reborn, we have just barely begun living. We are freed from death's sting. We would be driven to please Him, our every action rooted in what would give our God the most pleasure. Those who believe they are loved are able to give freely---time, money, mercy and love--all gifts, all belonging to God already and simply on loan to us---for the purpose of sharing them with others. Loved people love freely--without conditions, in spite of lostness, because of redemption--love others.
Living like we are loved also means that we live intentionally. A haphazard christian is no christian. Accidentally being obedient is of no avail. God calls us to purpose to be His. He gave us minds to think and learn and decide. We have wills with which we can choose to submit or rebel, but the choice has to be a conscious one. Every day, every hour, every minute, we decide whether to please Him or break His heart. Loved people who truly believe they are loved, live to worship their Creator, their Father, the One who loved them enough to die.
Living like we are loved also means that we live gratefully. God showers us with blessings each and everyday. The sunrise and the sunset testify of His love for us. His concern is drizzled over our lives in the gentle rainshower and the confidence we can have in His power exhibited in the mighty ocean. He is God and He loves us--James says He is the giver of every good and perfect gift! It was His love for us that drove the nails into the hands and feet of His Beloved. How could we believe in His love and our hearts not be filled with gratitude?
The Bible tells us of His great love, a love so magnificent our feeble minds cannot grasp it. The world He created to house us, to feed us, to clothe and provide for us are more witnesses to His love for us, His children. The community of Church that He makes us a part of serves as a reminder that He is still here, still caring, still protecting and still loving us. We don't understand how He could love us so---and yet we say we believe it to be true.
I read a book recently that carried this statement, "for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation." That is so true isn't it? We are limited only by what we believe. Perhaps it is time we truly started believing in His love. Maybe our faith will be strengthened as our belief system begins to embrace the idea and maybe, just maybe we will change the way we respond and react to those around us. The possibilities are limitless--- once we start living like we are loved!

Blessings
Neva

Tender of Hearts

2008-09-08T21:00:00.002-05:00

If you know me at all, you know that I almost always rise to the defense of the underdog. It is for the unlovable, the beat up upon, that I find myself most often fighting. One of my own personal pet peeves is watching someone struggle to do one right thing, all the while listening to others retell how good this one is at doing the wrong things. I find myself becoming so angry that I struggle with my temper. I fight down the urge to lash out and to condemn. Sometimes I fight harder than I do at others. And then, like all of us, I find myself penitent and pained, grateful for grace once again. If you have lived in this world longer than fifteen minutes, you have most likely been both the deliverer and the recipient of spirit bashing. And so I wonder, what makes it such a natural response to harm others? What makes the faults so much easier to see? What is it that makes us such willing participants in this bad behavior?

I was reading the book of Matthew and I came across the parable of the wheat and the tares. (Matthew 13:24-30) You remember this parable? The master sows good seed in his field and while he is sleeping, the enemy sows weeds (tares). They both sprout and grow producing a mixture of good and bad, a mixture of wheat and tares. The owners helpers want to rip out the weeds but the owner won't allow it. Out of concern for the tender stalks of wheat, he tells them to leave the weeds alone until harvest. Remember this one? Some parables are left to us to decide the intended application, while Jesus gives us the explanation for others. This is one that is interpreted by the Messiah, Himself. He tells us that the good seed is the church and the bad seed the world and the enemy the devil and the harvesters, the angels. It is a very cool parable about God's people living surrounded by satan's people and the end results at judgement or harvest.

I would never disagree with Jesus or make a different analogy other that what He intended. The appeal to parables like this is that they speak to the very basic of common sense. One need not be a farmer to understand that in ripping out the weeds, wheat could possibly be harmed. Easy, easy concept, right?

That same common sense applies to hearts. When we see someone with "weeds" in their heart, our gut response is to get rid of them, to purge that heart of those choking, water guzzling, food hoarding, growth inhibiting weeds. That is what we really want to do. And we just know if we pull out those massive weeds, the tender little shoots of wheat will have the nutrients and the water and the sunshine they need to grow and mature and bear fruit. Right? However, in our zeal to make this heart "weed-free", we can damage the wheat, destroy the good right along with the bad, yanking them both out by the very roots. (The roots of the weeds are usually deeper than those of the wheat).

Does it make sense that some of that weeding might be done after we have nurtured and fed and nourished the wheat? After we have helped it's root system grow and spread? Would it stand to reason that in feeding the good, the bad would begin to starve? Is it possible that in encouraging the growth of the wheat, we could at the very same time be thwarting the growth of the tares?

The age old question (almost always taken out of context), "Am I my brother's keeper" has only one answer--yes! We have responsibility for our brethren--otherwise all those "one-another" passages would be pretty silly. We are to care for, protect and nourish their hearts just as they are to do the same for ours. We are called to tend to one another, to help, encourage and mature one another. We are commanded to be kind and peaceful and treat each other with honor and respect. Just as we would tend to a garden, helping it to bloom and grow and bear fruit, so are we to tend the hearts of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are not just seed sowers, we are also tenders of hearts. Don't you think?

Blessings

Neva

On Catching Flies

2008-09-04T19:43:00.004-05:00

I know it has been a long time between posts--frankly I have been unsure exactly how to post what is on my mind. Having read lots of other blogs that are blatantly honest to the point of bluntness, I have decided to do the same. I will not however, name names. Please feel free to stop reading anytime you find the content offensive and if it is like watching a car wreck and you just can't tear yourself away, repent afterwards and purge your mind of the horrible thoughts. (Just kidding)!

Several things have happened recently that have threatened my christian spirit. There are the regular things like moving abruptly, changes at work and multiple deaths in the congregation, but those things are all a part of regular life on this earth. However the other things have really caused me to ask questions.

For instance---a woman was recently baptized. She has been worshipping with us for quite some time and decided she could not wait to be forgiven. Another lady was baptized after worshipping with us for several years, finally convinced that baptism is necessary, she put on her Lord and Savior. These are the comments made --re: the young woman: "some women will do whatever it takes to catch a man" and re: the older woman: "she probably did it because she is having health problems and is afraid"---seriously folks--I am not making this stuff up! Can you even imagine someone, anyone, having the nerve and the elevated opinion of themselves enough to question a baptism?

Then--a coworker was talking about her pregnant teen age daughter, the girl is fourteen. The girl wanted to go on a Labor Day campout with her boyfriend and his three high school age guy friends. Her mother said she was going to let her because "after all, it's not like she can get pregnant". Are you kidding me?

Then on Saturday, I received an email, from someone who does not know me, disguised as a caring and Christian email, but scathing, judgemental, condemning and manipulative, attempting to guilt me into doing something--judging me not for what I have done in the past, because that obviously accounts for nothing but for what I haven't done recently because I had not the wherewithall to do. The assumption that I would see a need and ignore or neglect it, that I would not help where I could was insulting and demeaning. Throwing in Bible verses to try and prove how horrible I am didn't help and virtually spitting on the gift of prayer was equally offensive.

Lastly, a very good friend and her husband are adopting twins from Romania. The twins are special needs children and are now three years old. My friends are going to Romania next week to pick them up. Her eyes light up as she tells about these newest additions to their family. Most of her family and friends have not been supportive. They cite all kinds of instances when adoptions fail, they talk about the "hidden" medical needs of foreign children and tell my friend that she "has no idea what she is getting herself into" and "that these children will be nothing more than a money pit and once they are grown will return to their country with an American education and amnesia regarding their American parents." How hateful can you be?

I am not sure where in scripture it tells us that it is okay to: 1) judge and condemn anothers motives, 2) label others as less and 3) use God's Word to humiliate and assault each other. Does anyone know where it says this? And are there addendum's to the "Let NO unwholesome word come out of your mouth but only what is profitable for building one another up according to their needs" passage? Am I confused? Does it really mean NO unwholesome word? I am so grateful neither of my two new sisters in Christ heard these remarks for I know those words have injured their infant faith.

The old cliche that one can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar is certainly true. Imagine these babes in Christ, ten years from now, after receiving years of encouragement. How many souls might they bring to the Lord? Imagine this fourteen year old girl with some real parenting and some guidance, learning self-respect and self-restraint and being supported to do the right thing for her baby. Personally, I am more apt to do something, even if it is a struggle, if I am approached with love and a sincere Christian need. And my friend isn't asking for money or clothing or plane tickets only for her friends and family to share her joy.

Why do we have to be so ugly to each other. When we are kind and considerate and supportive, others respond in turn. There is so much I do not know--but this I believe--It is indeed easier to catch a fly with honey than to beat it to death with a baseball bat.

Blessings

Neva

Gone---A Time To Heal

2008-08-20T21:20:00.002-05:00

Y'all, I am out of town for the next few days. I was blessed enough to receive a scholarship to become a facilitator for a national cancer survivors program. I am excited for yet another way to minister to others. Please pray for me in this endeavor that as I may use this opportunity to serve our Lord.
Be back soon.
Blessings
neva

Death Spiral

2008-08-19T01:36:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking about what causes people to fall away from the Lord. And why is it so difficult to as Jude says, "snatch them from the fire? And so, I have this new theory.

We all have dear friends and loved ones who started out filled with zeal and purpose, "chomping at the bits" to just serve the Lord. They were ready with a smile and a word of encouragement, anxious to share hope and compassion with everyone the met, eager to spend time in the Word, study with others, pray with others, and generally fill their lives with all things spiritual. Then it seems their light was a little dimmer and we were able to justify their absence with a multitude of excuses, but before long, the light was so dim, we couldn't see to find them. We became desperate to bring them back to the Lord, concerned that they were headed for spiritual shipwreck and yet unable to reconnect with them. Why? What happened that put them so far out of reach?
I think that falling away has some sort of spiralling movement. You see, it is almost as if each soul begins in the very middle of the spiral, out of reach from those outside their circle and yet as prayers go up and seeds are sown, the tight little circle begins expanding and before long, that soul is within reach, just waiting for the arm, the heart, to extend into their series of circles and pull them out. (This makes more sense when you look at the picture--:0)
So of course, the exact opposite happens when one falls away. On the outer ring of the spiral, their lives are intersecting and touching the lives of others in the body and any curves and changes begin very subtly and are very slow in coming. But as the soul gradually makes its way back to the tight and closed center, they move farther and farther from those who love them, and the changes become more frequent and more noticeable and before long, they are out of reach, quickly making decisions that suck them into the vortex of death--spiritual death. They are so far away and we struggle to reach them and encourage them, praying for the day we see them moving to the outer rings of their spiral--back out where their lives and souls are intersecting and interacting with others in the body. As long as Christ is their center, their circle becomes bigger and bigger and intersects and touches more and more lives, but once that center is replaced with self, they begin spiralling out of control. And, the only way to reach them seems to be the way we reached them in the first place, praying and seed sowing.
I have a couple of friends, friends whom I love dearly, friends who are being sucked into the vortex of spiritual shipwreck----I will never give up on them. I pray for them and strive to encourage them and yet at times . . . they seem so far away, so out of reach. I fear for their very souls, praying that God will do whatever it takes to bring them back to Him and praying that He will ready those around them to love them through whatever happens. Today, I am dedicating my prayers to all those who are spiralling farther and farther from away from God and His people. Today, I am remembering the ones I know and love and praying for those on your list. Today, I am asking Him to lengthen our arms to reach them, to strengthen our resolve to save them and to prick their hearts to want to come home. Won't you pray with me -----today?

Blessings
Neva

ps--Thanks AW for the graphic! :)

48 Birthday Reasons

2008-08-12T09:26:00.003-05:00

Today is my 48th birthday--I know--most women don't tell their age but I am pretty proud to have been one of God's favorite children for 48 years. I like the lists bloggers post-- so today, I am asking for 48 reasons blogging is a good thing.
I will begin with the first one:
1. It allows me yet another way to share God's word.

So now, can you, my e-friends, come up with 47 more?

Blessings
neva

And He Tells Me I Am His Own

2008-08-06T21:21:00.002-05:00

Tonight was our singing night at church. As usual everyone picked their favorite songs. We sang some really beautiful hymns as well as some uplifting praise songs. It was wonderful! As we sang "I Come To The Garden" tonight, I was moved by the words, especially "and He tells me I am His own". What a beautiful and powerful statement! I began thinking about just how He conveys that I belong to Him and this is the list I came up with:

When I am walking in unfamiliar ground, stepping out in faith on a new venture, He reminds me that He will never leave me or forsake me and that though I stumble, I will not fall, and I know I am His.
When I feel lost and alone, unsure of my purpose and doubting my worth, He reminds me that He gave His Son to die for me and in doing so made me spotlessly clean, and then I know that I belong to Him.
When I rush headlong into dangerous waters, careless and oblivious to all the danger signs, and when I begin to drown and I cry out to Him, He reaches down and rescues me and reminds me that I am His own.
When I am afraid and timid, unsure of my faith, wobbly in my mission and easily distracted by the world, He shows His love and care for me by sending another of His own to lovingly lead me, allow me to rely on their strength and their courage, and once again I know I am His possession.
When the world seems to stack the cards of life against me and satan wages war on my spirit, when everything that can go wrong does and I am homeless, helpless, pained and poor, He provides more than what I lost, more that I deserve, even more than I need. He does that because I am His.
When my earth eyes look at my troubles and wonder what purpose could the struggle have served, He gently guides my eyes to one who needs the wisdom of my experience, who needs the courage of another struggler and He tells me that I am not the only one who belongs to Him.
When I become cocky and arrogant, believing in my words rather than living His, He gently, (or sometimes less than gently) allows me to fall so that I can look up to Him and call out to Him, longing for Him and that reassurance that I am His.

I look back on my life from yesterday to years and years ago and I see God's hand working. I remember His people loving me, His word teaching me and His peace filling up my heart and I am ever grateful that He has been so faithful in His telling me that I am His own!

What about you? What spiritual reminders has He given you?

Blessings

Neva

Shelf Life

2008-07-14T21:45:00.000-05:00

We are moving---yes, I know, we just moved.

Our landlord has decided to sell our house--yes, we had a one year lease and have only been here eight months.

He listed the house on Wednesday---yes, the housing market is really bad, so many houses are on the market for a long, long time.

It sold on Saturday and he got more than he asked for it----yes, we did do lots of work to fix it up.

And so we are moving---and yes, I hate moving!

As we begin the process of looking for a place to live, a place with a living room large enough to have home bible studies and a place that allows dogs, I have started going through cabinets, deciding what to take and what to throw away. During this process, I have found myself reading the labels---labels on toothpaste, sunscreen, ketchup and baking soda. Listed along with the ingredients is a date--the "best if used by" date. That date tells us what the shelf life is.

Wikipedia defines shelf life as the length of time perishable items are given before they are considered unsuitable.

I began thinking about Christians, and how many of us are content to simply sit on the pew (shelf) doing nothing. I recently asked a woman if she would be interested in teaching or co-teaching a Sunday school class---her response was "No, I did that before and I don't think I want to put that much preparation into Sunday morning." I was a little bit shocked at that response. I asked another woman who said she had taught when her children were young but had "grown beyond that kind of service". Amazing! I know those are not unique responses. I am sure you have heard similar excuses from men and women alike, who explain why they would rather not serve.

I am concerned that congregations are filled with members who prefer to sit on the shelf, (in the pew), unused and unwilling to be used. We know that we are indeed perishable---that we will all die and return to dust. We also know that God commands us and yes, even expects us, to be useful. We are to be a community of servants. That is our calling and our duty. We also believe that if we do not use our gifts, they will be taken from us and given to another.

And so, as I pack ---again, I wonder, "What is the shelf life of a Christian?"

Blessings

Neva

She's Amazing!

2008-06-21T11:36:00.003-05:00

We never get too old to learn from others. Over the past few months, I have been privileged to learn from a very amazing young woman! She is struggling with some things in her life, things that would devastate and have devastated many of us, and yet, she remains faithful, loyal and genuine. Don't get me wrong, she has her ups and downs, but in bad times and good, she behaves like God's woman. She has been abandoned by the one she loves and the past four months have been difficult. Yet, throughout this time, she has not once said bad or negative things about her husband. When most would become "historical", (remembering every single bad thing he'd ever done), she has remained in the present, focusing on the good in him, praying for him to be the man she needs and the father her children need. While others might shirk their responsibilities, she has done the opposite. She has found a job and an apartment. She has made sure her boys know that she loves them and she will not leave them also. She has renewed her commitment to parenting them for the Lord. When others might question God and fall away, she has become even more focused on Him and His promises. She searches the Word for hope and strength and she finds it. When others might become single minded, entrenched in their own pain, believing it to be bigger than that of those around them, she has spoken with compassion and concern about those who are struggling. When told she should not forgive her husband until he comes to her and asks for forgiveness, she forgave him anyway, knowing that forgiveness was between her and God. She is determined to work on becoming a better wife and a better mother, rather than a "bitter" one.

Yes, she cries, and yes she gets angry and confused and tired and frustrated, but when you speak with her she quickly processes those emotions and begins speaking of hope and endurance and forgiveness and grace. Yesterday, she started a new job, 2nd shift so her mother could help with the children. Today, she is moving from a home she loves but can no longer afford to an apartment. She is moving without her big strong husband's help. And tomorrow she will take her boys to worship, all by herself, weary, exhausted and worn out. She will rise to the occasion and will flourish in spite of satan's attempts to crush her spirit and derail her purpose. I have faith in her because she has faith in God.

So tomorrow morning as you worship with God's family, say a little prayer for this family. Tonight as you lie next to the one you love, think about this wife who sleeps alone in her big bed and ask God to giver her restful night.And Monday as you begin your work week, pray again for the single mother, amid moving boxes, loving her young sons and preparing for another week alone. Your prayers will mean so much to her!

I wish you could meet her--she is truly an amazing Christian woman---I am so proud of her. You would be too.

Blessings

Neva