Dancing in the Light

I John 1:7 "If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, His Son, cleanses us from all sin."

Location: North Platte, Nebraska, United States

I am a christian wife, mother and grandmother. I am a licensed Social worker and a licensed Christian counselor. I am most proud of the relationships I have with God, my family and friends all over the world. I have been blessed beyond my dreams.

Sunday, April 01, 2007


He knew he was dying. Every bone and muscle and tissue in his body hurt. He hurt when he walked and when he sat still. He struggled through each and every minute, laboring to breathe, the oxygen tank and canula his ever present companions. He hadn't been able to sleep for many days, the increasing pain keeping his exhausted body from resting. He knew he was not long for this world. He knew it was just a matter of days before he would leave his young wife and their two sons. But oh, how he wanted to stay.! He remembered he had come this close---even closer, several times before, but this time, it was different. He knew this time, it really would be good-bye.
But, tomorrow was a special day. No, it wasn't the day the hospice nurse came-- that was Thursday. And it wasn't the day the doctor would try to hospitalize him again. (That time was soon coming) And it wasn't the day they would up his morphine, although that would perhaps allow him to get the rest his weakened body now craved. No, tomorrow was not the day for those things.
He knew he must make plans. He knew this time--this one last time, it had to be really special. He would have to call in some favors. He made the first call to friends, telling them he needed their help if he were to pull this off. He had to rest between calls, lying back in his chair, gasping and sucking the oxygen into his dying, air starved lungs. The second call was to a restaurant. He asked for a table in the back, in a darkened corner, someplace where an oxygen tank would be out of the way and not too noticeable. They assured him everything would be ready for tomorrow. He leaned back in the recliner and smiled. Yes, tomorrow would be a special day.
The next morning, he sent her on an errand so he could share his plans with his sons, gaining their conspiracy and eliciting from them a promise of silence. Together they began to put the plan in place. He smiled as she looked almost relieved when the boys told her they had both been invited to a friend's house for dinner that night. They were supposed to go early to jump on the trampoline and play video games. Smiling slyly, the boys kissed their parents good by and off they went for an evening of fun and friends. After they left, she asked if he needed anything---he didn't. She plopped down on the couch, laid her head back and closed her eyes. Sadly he thought how much his illness had aged her. It was difficult to see her so young and so worried, so tired. She caught him watching her and immediatley jumped up with an offer to get him something. He said what he really wanted was to go for a ride. She looked surprised but could tell it was something he had his heart set on. She busied herself making all the preparations it now took to take him places. To be honest, he really didn't feel like going anywhere, but earlier he had taken extra medications so that he could carry out this plan. She helped him to the car, stowed the chair and the oxygen tank. (He wished his insurance had paid for one of those little portables). She asked where he wanted to go and he said, "Just drive". They drove around for awhile and he asked her to pull into the local steakhouse. She looked confused and worried. He smiled and said he had been planning this for two days and he really wanted to take her out to dinner to celebrate. She helped him into the restaurant where he gave his name and the waitress escorted them to their table. It took everything he had to make it to their table, back in the darkened corner with enough room to stash the oxygen tank where no one could see, just as he had requested. His bride smiled and began to cry when she saw the roses and the candles. She was surprised, touched, and confused. How had he done this?
His pain was almost unbearable as they ordered their food. His hands shaking, he willed himself to make it through the meal. After all, it was a celebration. The food came and with tears in his eyes, he asked for her understanding. In spite of extra medications, the pain was just too much and would she be upset if they took the meal to go and ate at home? They quickly had the waitress box up the food. She helped get them to the car, roses, food and all. By the time they reached the house, he was unable to help her get him out of the car. They were fortunate that a neighbor, who often helped them, was available. Together the two of them got him into the house and helped him into the recliner. His wife sat with him and held his hand. He could not get enough air to tell her that he loved her and how sorry he was he had not been able to give her this special night. But she didn't need to hear the words. After seventeen years of marriage, she understood the sentiments conveyed by his eyes and tears. And they wept together.
Ten days later, he would be gone, leaving her to raise two boys. The next ten days would be very difficult, days they would try so desperately to forget. But after twelve years, the pain and anguish, the desperation and the heartbreak would all be less memorable. Oh, but that night, that special night would never be forgotten. Although he did not feel like it, although it took everything he had and more besides, although it did not quite go as he'd planned, she would never forget their seventeenth wedding anniversary. The steak dinner--$22.00, the roses--$35.00, sacrificial love---priceless!


I try to make a spiritual analogy to everyday things in my life. I don't think I need to with this one--I will leave it up to each of you--


Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:33 PM  
Blogger The Preacher's Household: said...

I am so glad you have been talking about Eddy lately. You we blessed as you know. I know not everything was always perfect but When I met you guys was a good time. I know you had some fun times. You and your sadistic kids just torturing others. (I use that word in a loving way mind you). One thing I have noticed is that life does not go as I plan. But, there are some great surprises still. We are so blessed.


10:49 PM  
Blogger Candle (C & L) said...

Neva - I'm writing through my tears -- such a poignant story-is it real?

One thingI know it was real to Jesus --the cost of the supper -- the cost of the nails -- a mere pittance -- 30 pieces of silver - an overwhelming burden forJudas -- but my Jesuson a cross - priceless. Thank you

God Bless

4:29 AM  
Blogger Mommysmart said...


Beautiful story of love. Thanks for sharing something so personal.

6:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember this. Although his medicine and his illness made it hard for him to be loveable sometimes. Therre were times like this when his love for you were undeniable.

Great post.
Love ya

8:03 AM  
Anonymous lisa leichner said...

Neva, it took me a moment but I figured it out. I was already near tears when I realized you were talking about your first husband, and then the tears just burst out. What a special man. And a special wife he had. I love you. Thank you for sharing something that must have been difficult to get out so publicly.

8:05 AM  
Blogger TREY MORGAN said...

Spiritual application?

Ephesians 5, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church..."

Great story!!!!!!

8:29 AM  
Blogger John Roberts said...

Neva - thanks so much for sharing your beautiful story of love.

8:47 AM  
Blogger Traci said...

All I can say is that I can't wait to get to Heaven to meet him!
Smiling through my tears-

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Chris said...

Neva, thanks for sharing.

1:40 PM  
Blogger Liz Moore said...

What a beautiful story of love. May we all experience the joy of being loved and loving so much. Blessings.

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Neva,
this touched my heart. What a beautiful story. The analogies are so many but sacrificial love is something that should be unforgettable to all of us.
Blessings to you.

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You really made me cry this time. I know how hard it has to have been for you. You are amazing! I am so encouraged by your blog and by your life. I am blessed to have you for my friend.

Love you

6:26 PM  
Blogger Neva said...

Thank you all for your sweet comments. My husband was sick for 13 of the 17 years we were married. It was not always easy. We even lost our house and had to live in a car in Montana in the winter for awhile. But, love was always there and we were always blessed. When I look forward to heaven I know there will be two bridegrooms there. What a blessing. And God has sent me a truly, truly wonderful man now. All of that and yall too----I must be God's favorite child!!!!


6:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful love story.
You should add this one to your list of favorites. I will be adding it to mine,


6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Neva, my sister
You are a gifted writer. I almost felt like I was right there in the restaurant. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story.
You are right, you don't need to make the analogy. It is obvious.


6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has it really been twelve years? I remember seeing you the day after Eddy died and I knew I had seen the face of a broken heart and yet when I sat with you at your house, I left your house encouraged--when I thought I was there to comfort and encourage you. You have always been and continue to be a blessing in my life and a great example. Thank you for being God's woman.

7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful, beautiful.


7:54 PM  
Blogger Bobby Cohoon said...

Nice post sis!


8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Priceless for us---huge cost for him--sacrificial love--nothing like it. Good post.


9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You left me speechless.


9:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So touching!
I loved this post. You were very blessed and so was he and now we have been also.


9:44 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Oh, wow, Neva. That is a beautiful story, and brought tears to my eyes. He sounds like he was a wonderful husband. You have been through so much!

10:00 PM  
Blogger The Preacher's Household: said...

And now these remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. This is the spiritual application for me: your faith helped you through all of those trials and years, your hope is the excitement of celebrating his completed recovery with him and your love will grow in your heart for him until you are with him again. The amazing and joyous part is that God has given you the best man ever for your second chance to grow in faith, hope and love with until it is time to see your ultimate Bridegroom who has been the source for your faith, hope and love all along.
I love you and I am proud that you are sharing the inside closets of your heart for everyone to grow closer to Him.

3:00 PM  

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