Critical Condition

I have a very dear friend, in a far away place, it's someone you don't know but I love her dearly. She would do anything for me and together we have had much fun. She and I have laughed until we cried and cried until we laughed. We have rejoiced at victories and wept over tragedies. She is a good person and I try to be a good person. However, we are not good for each other. When we are together, it is just a matter of moments before we start criticizing everything and everyone around us. We whisper to each other about the bad breath of the salesclerk. We laugh at the mistakes of others. We give each other that sly, "See, I told you," smile when another friend misuses a word. We find typos in the restaurant menus. We talk about strangers and mock their choice of clothes. We rate people on a scale of one to ten. We discuss too much salt in the food or too little taste and how there is either too much or not enough fizz in our cokes. We talk about the exorbitant price of everything and the brazen behavior of everyone. We are sarcastic, condescending and disrespectful. And at the time, it seems like fun.
The problem is when I go back home and lie in my bed, sleep does not come. Although totally exhausted from all the "fun", my conscience nags me, prods me, pokes at my heart and keeps me from a restful sleep. I try to talk my conscience into believing it was really all in fun and there was truly no harm done. My conscience doesn't buy it. I try to force myself to talk louder than my conscience, to talk it down, not listen, force myself to ignore it. But my conscience is very tenacious---it does not give up. I toss and turn and toss some more. Finally, I realize that I have a critical condtion!
I don't believe I am the only one with this problem. I also don't believe I am the only one who wants to get control of this bad habit. You may not personally struggle with this but I bet you know someone who does. Those of us with a critical condition, well we are the ones who don't really get involved in activities, but we know we could do it better than the ones who do. We are the Monday morning quarterbacks, although the sermon was pretty good, we wouldn't have said that way and we definitely wouldn't have used that illustration. The singing sounded lovely but it would have been so much more uplifting and encouraging if we'd had a better mix of songs. When we sing all those old songs, most of our young people don't sing. And when we sing only the new songs, well, then it sounds like a youth rally or something--what with all that clapping and stuff. And the children at church---we are all glad to have so many young families but it is really difficult to worship when the children are so unruly. What they need is . . . And honestly can't we march in the Lord's army just a little bit quieter? The guy who led the prayer for the communion bread did a pretty good job, too bad he didn't look in the mirror before he came to church. Does he really think short, wide, gawdy ties are back in style? It was very distracting. We put forth very little effort but we know if we did, we could do it better and faster.
Oh, the thoughts that go through the mind of a critical christian. While it is bad enough the thoughts are there, usually it is not long before they become words, a part of conversation with others. Many of us remember the old joke about "having the preacher for dinner" ---not meaning an invitation to fellowship. I am not sure we recognize just how sinful and detrimental criticism can be. They say it takes something like fifteen positives to make up for every one negative. I don't think that is enough. I think the impact of fifteen good comments about the church and the worship is quickly negated by one harsh criticism. No one wants to step up and be involved when they know they will be critiqued. No one wants to be vulnerable and transparent when they know their efforts will be coffee club fodder in the morning. We cannot expect our churches to grow when we have so many with critical conditions. This condition is very contagious and without the proper treatment, it is fatal. It is indeed disrespectful, hurtful and irreverant.

Father in Heaven, please help us to love one another, to bear with one another and to forgive one another. Teach us to guard our tongues. Put a stopgate on our mouths when we are on the verge of unwholesome talk. Help us to cleanse our minds of arrogance and pride. Teach us humility. We know you desire a loving healthy growing body. Help us want the same. In your Son's holy name.

Peace
Neva
" . . . by this shall all men know you are my disciples, if you have love one for another."
John 13:35