Dancing in the Light

I John 1:7 "If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, His Son, cleanses us from all sin."

Location: North Platte, Nebraska, United States

I am a christian wife, mother and grandmother. I am a licensed Social worker and a licensed Christian counselor. I am most proud of the relationships I have with God, my family and friends all over the world. I have been blessed beyond my dreams.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Building A Broken Heart

Nobody likes to have their heart broken. But, if we live any length of time and have any quality relationships, if we participate in life to any degree, we all end up at one time or another with a broken heart. I am not just talking about the kind of broken heart we get when we are in Jr. High and the boy we like doesn't like us and our feelings get hurt. And I am not just talking about the kind of broken heart we have when we don't make the team. Those events can definitely have devastating effects on a young, tender spirit. It usually doesn't take much time for such breaks in a tender heart to heal. But, as one grows and matures, the opportunities for broken hearts increase. As we grow into adulthood, our world expands and therefore the potential for relationships expand, the recognition of the value of relationships expand and even the expectations we have of others expand. All of these are a recipe for a broken heart.
God has given us the ability to love. Most of us, could at any moment, list a dozen or more people whom we truly love. That list might include our parents, our spouses, our children, our siblings, our best friends, or church family. There are some on that list that we love enough to lay down our lives for. Some who, if not there, would leave a chasm too large to cross--some whom we love so intensely and so deeply that our hearts are forever marked by their presence in our lives. These relationships are sweet and wonderful and we have grown so used to them. Our lives are completed by them--they are more than accessories to a good life, they are components of a good life. Because we love them so intensely and so deeply, we also can be hurt by them just as deeply and just as intensely. Whether our heart is broken as a result of a betrayed trust or the loss of a loved one or because of sin, I believe our hearts break in direct proportion to how much they love.
When our hearts are broken, I mean really broken, the kind of broken where we fight back tears on a daily basis, the kind of broken that feels like our hearts are shattered into the bottom of our stomach, the pieces rubbing back and forth, grinding and cutting all day and all night, the kind of broken where the loss is so heavy we can barely breathe, that kind of brokenness---when we are broken like that, we usually feel so alone. We feel the grief is more than we can bear, more than we will ever be able to bear. We feel that no one else on the planet either understands or even cares. And despair becomes our bed partner, our soul mate, and ever present shadow. Our lives are impacted to the point that our broken heart handicaps us. We don't know what to do. We find ourselves unable to make wise decisions. We are helpless and hopeless and our heart just keeps on breaking.
If someone only had a magic remedy, something that would miraculously take away the pain, that would immediately heal and mend the heart, something that would help us breathe again, love again, hope again. That kind of immediate healing would rob us of the experience. I know, I know, those who are grieving wonder , "why would I even want this experience?" And they are right, none of us want this experience, none of us would choose to suffer this way. But I encourage us to just consider what happens when our hearts are broken. First, we become so helpless that we become more dependent on God than ever. We may reach out to others and to other things to help comfort us, only to find they are ineffective. We end up turning to the only One who can help---that is a good thing. Second, when we are on the other side of grief, we can minister to others with an empathy others lack. II Corinthians 1:3-4- tells us that we are comforted so that we can comfort others, broken hearts expand our ministry--that is a good thing. Third, we develop a new appreciation for the sacrifice God made. We cannot lose someone, we cannot experience the betrayal of one closest to us, we cannot be falsely accused, lied about and have our reputation slandered without understanding a little bit more just how much Jesus loves us. And that is a good thing.
There is a verse in Psalm 51 that says "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart O God, you will not despise." When we think of the word "despise" we think of synonyms like loathe and hate, but the word also means "to regard as unworthy of one's interest or concern." God does not despise our broken heart---He is concerned, He does care, He is interested and He will provide healing and comfort.
We cannot escape broken hearts. Day by day, we build relationships. We marry, we have children, we make friends. We build a loving heart--that is only right. God wants us to love, He wants us to be loving people. As we build our loving heart, we are aware of the potential for heartbreak. I believe this is one way we are created in God's image. He loves us, His heart is filled with love for us, but we have broken His heart more than once. As we become more like Jesus everyday, we will love more deeply and more fully. And on the flip side, we will also suffer more intensely.

"I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing His sufferings. . ." Philippians 3:10


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This helps---sometimes the pain is so hard, I just dont know if I want to go on. The pain and the emptiness make me feel so alone.
Thank you for a bright light.

8:39 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

Broken hearts always have the chance to grow back bigger than before. Thanks for your thoughts.

11:35 AM  
Blogger jel said...


I have been there,

thanks for the post!


12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God's healing seems to take forever but looking back we can all see the benefits of a broken heart. Good work, Neva


1:15 PM  
Blogger The Preacher's Household: said...

If only those jr. high heartbreaks could fully prepare us for dealing with the ones later in life. I always remember the difference between Judas and Peter is that one gave up and the other did not. God's love is sufficient if we can just hold on for it to heal and show us the way out.

1:42 PM  
Blogger The Preacher's Household: said...

Good job. As I have said before about brokenness, I haven't experienced as much pain as many and am thankful. I don't know how well I would bear up under some of the pressures you have. I am learning slowly to accept God's comfort. Help us all to accept it and offer what we have recieved.

2:56 PM  
Blogger massivetruth said...

You never seem to fail me in your deep and insightful truths. Admittedly, it wasn't until adulthood I understood the depths of a broken heart.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't it the broken He came to heal?

Good thougths, thanks


5:22 PM  
Blogger Keith said...

One can also break one's own heart by hurting someone that they love deeply. I think that might be the worst of all.
I will admit thatit can definitely strengthen you beyond your hurt, if you let God heal you.

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never heard anyone say that being more like Jesus requires a broken heart-I think you are right. It does.
He had to have a broken heart over and over.


7:13 PM  
Blogger Bobby Cohoon said...

I like this a lot Neva!


9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are amazing! this is just what I needed to hear today. Thankyou friend,


9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Know whats worse than a broken heart?
Having no heart


10:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Every single one of us has been there and when we recover--the care God took of us was oh so sweet.

Great thoughts today Neva


10:08 PM  
Blogger Kathy said...


I agree with jel - POWERFUL POST!!

And yet, the miracle of healing and comfort comes through your words - as though unmasking the hurt, admitting that there is truly such a thing as a broken heart allows the light of God's love to enter and comfort.

Thank you, dear friend! Thank you!!

Kathy [in Texas but not Texan. That identification is a story in and of itself....another story of heartbreak, to an extent]

11:02 PM  
Blogger Beba said...

Yes, you are right. Broken heart and the pain that it causes helps us see things from different perspectives.

2:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Blessings of a Broken Heart---sounds like a title for a ladies day. powerful thoughts, friend


5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cry everyday but when I finally stop, I pray God will use this hurt for something good. Your post gives me hope.

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A broken heart hurts so much worst than any broken bone. It takes longer to heal and never completely does.
But God is a god of hope. Thanks for sharing the hope with us.

9:15 PM  
Blogger The Preacher's Household: said...

I was trying to find the comments where you said that the person confused you because you didn't think you had left that comment. Everytime I see the other Kathy's I have to think, "Did I say that?" Sometimes I have really good thoughts that I hadn't even thought about yet.
You are doing a good job addressing the VT issue. You and your wisdom are appreciated and sought out by many. You don't have to post this but you can if you want to. I just don't have time to get to email right now.

1:40 PM  

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