What Am I About?

My friend, Stacie, gave me a new CD by Sierra. The songs are wonderful and I like them all. However, I find myself playing one of them over and over again. The song, "Make Me" is about the process of becoming what God intended. As the artist sings about this struggle, the lyrics speak of the all too familiar waves of doubt that occaionally surface in every Christian's life. The exact words are "My mind becomes entangled beneath a web of doubt, questioning the question of what I am about." I have played this song many times and each time, I am struck by this simple phrase: "What am I about?" This same question has plagued mankind for generations. I daresay there have been times when we have all wondered why we are here, what we are doing and why we are doing it.
So what am I about? Now I realize the song, though inspirational, is not inspired and should therefore not be the source of some great theological truth. However, the idea that doubt is linked to this cloudy vision of purpose is a concept that is both practical and biblical. For it is when doubt overtakes us that the questions begin to come. It is when doubt seeps into our lives that our faith begins to waver. It is when doubt wiggles its way into our faith structure that our hope begins to wane and all that we know, all that we stand for, all that we hope and believe comes under scrutiny. Doubt is a great modifier of purpose.
As I think about this I began to wonder how we can battle doubt, how we can always and forever have the assurance---the assurance that instills hope in our hearts and compels us to persevere. I began to think about Jesus. Ephesians tells us that before we were even created, He saw us and made plans to redeem us. Our redemption was His sole purpose and all of history led up to the fulfillment of this plan. We walk along with Abraham, the promise recipient, and we see his great acts of faith and also his stumbling doubt. We read of the hardships of the family of Moses and his summon to be their rescuer and we hear his excuses, as if he doubts that God has made the correct choice. We journey through biblical history to the birth of our Savior and we see the miraculous and purposeful announcement by Gabriel and the heralding of His birth by angels and shepherds and wisemen alike.
And then in Luke chapter 2, we see the boy Messiah, in Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast of the Passover with His family and other Jewish worshippers. His family and their entourage have made the long pilgramage and are returning home, only to discover He is not with them. An extensive search finds the 12 year old in the temple with the teachers. He is not worried, seemingly oblivious that He has been left. He is not thinking about how He, at only 12 years old, will find His way home or what He will use for food or water on the trek, which was several days worth of travel. He is not concerned that something will happen to Him. He is not thinking about the physical at all, rather His focus is on the spiritual. When His mother finds Him and reprimands Him for worrying her, He simply states, "Why were you worried, did you not know I must be about my Father's business?" A simple statement of fact--my Father's business---that is what I am about!
It occurred to me as I read this that perhaps that single-minded focus, that unwavering determination, that one purpose would help us combat doubt in our Christian walk. Perhaps if we were not so worried about opinions and traditions, and if we were not so concerned with programs and platitudes, perhaps we could devote more emotional, physical and spiritual energy toward being about our Father's business. If we could take the physical out of the picture, if we could not worry about what other's think, if we could focus on the spiritual, then I believe doubt would find no place in our hearts or minds. If we could do this, then the age old question "What am I about?" would find its answer in "I am about my Father's business."

Peace
Neva