Dancing in the Light

I John 1:7 "If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, His Son, cleanses us from all sin."

Location: North Platte, Nebraska, United States

I am a christian wife, mother and grandmother. I am a licensed Social worker and a licensed Christian counselor. I am most proud of the relationships I have with God, my family and friends all over the world. I have been blessed beyond my dreams.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


I have been thinking about this post for quite some time. I remember growing up and how heavy shame was. Everytime I did something I knew was wrong, it ate me alive inside, no matter how hard I tried to cover it up. A lie did not assuage my guilt. A manipulation did not make my palms any less sweaty. Flat out denial did not make it easier for me to stand for the invitation song on Sunday morning and NOT go forward. Shame was so heavy! It made looking in my parent's eyes almost impossible. It made breathing difficult and sleeping a chore. It became so stifling that I finally had to confess just so I could survive. Most of us can identify with this. But it seems to me that we have changed. Our society and its shame response is so different than it was even twenty years ago.
First of all, it takes a lot more to make us feel ashamed. Nothing is private, nothing is embarrassing, nothing is off limits. Is it because society has shaped our consciences? There was a time when there were public topics and private topics and everyone respected that, or at least most people did. We behaved in public decently and respectably and we never ever talked about certain subjects--we would have been too ashamed. There was a time when our clothing was important. We were ashamed if our clothing was dirty, ill fitting or showed our underwear.
There was a time when we cared about our reputations. We protected our family name and our image as well as that of our children. We didn't lie, we didn't cheat and we didn't steal. We paid our bills and our taxes. We worked hard and we didn't cohabitate outside of marriage. We would have been ashamed to live otherwise.
So I see us doing all the things that twenty years ago were considered shameful. We do them without a second thought and they have become commonplace. And so I wonder what does it take to shame us now? Maybe we have become so adept at taking grace for granted that we no longer feel shame. Perhaps we have convinced ourselves that our God is a God of love (and that He is) and that as a God of love, He only wants us to be happy and He understands how important it is to . . . . (fill in the blank) and that He will be merciful and gracious and we will not be punished. Once we convince ourselves of this, it becomes pretty easy to continue in our shameful behaviors. And since the church has become so "pc" we know that our brothers and sisters will not interfere in our lives.
Am I the only one who is disturbed about this? Am I seeing too much negative and not enough positive? There are times when I feel I can relate to the prophets of old----seeing a dangerous trend in God's chosen people. I am concerned for us----I worry about us when we begin to cover or stifle our shame until that feeling is gone. Shame is a good thing--unpleasant yes, but it is shame, a guilty conscience that is the catalyst to repentance. So one must wonder if we become a people who feel no shame will we become an unrepentant nation?
Ephesians tells us that we are children of light and should walk as children of light. We are told that there are secret shameful things that are done in darkness and that they are so shameful they should not even be spoken of in the light. We are the chosen ones--the ones picked by God to be different--to live by different standards------standards that are higher than those of the world. We are the ones who are shamed by sin and because of that shame, we try to stay as far away from it as possible. We are the ones whose lives are filled with gratitude for the grace and mercy of our Father. We no longer take grace for granted.
Once we have lost the ability to blush, we are no longer different from the world. We are living below our calling. Shame on us!


Sunday, November 01, 2009


So I was driving home from work the other day--in a hurry to get home, as usual--tired from the day, as usual, and pretty inpatient, also as usual. I am behind a blue minivan that is driving very slowly. The driver waits at the green light, looking both ways, looking again, and then has the passenger look both ways and look again--I yell, "the light is green, goofball"--(as if they can hear me). Finally the blue minivan signals right and heads down my street! Great--now I get to follow them even further. "I am never going to get home", I think in my best "drama queen" voice. I notice as they drive down my street, that they slow and speed up, slow and speed up, both the passenger and the driver looking and looking out the windows at the house numbers. "What are you? Lost?" I shout!
Almost immediately, I am saddened at my loss of patience for those so obviously lost! I began to wonder how that translates into my emotions toward those who are lost spiritually. If I get so upset with someone who can't find their way, simply because it makes me a few minutes later getting home---then just maybe I think my time is way too precious! Perhaps my values are skewed. I mean honestly folks, its not like I was late for an appointment to do emergency brain surgery on a woman pregnant with quadruplets who had been hit in the head by a taco bell sign blown down by the wind! I was in a hurry to get home, change clothes, feed my face and look at facebook! Pretty important stuff don't you think? I was ashamed and began thinking about my attitude and asking God to change it----until . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I noticed that the minivan had 15 county plates---ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Y'all--that's North Platte--that's where I live. They were not lost at all--they just acted like it--the nerve of some people. I felt my ire rising again and frustration oozing out of every pore. Then all of the sudden, the God of the universe, the One who saved me, loves me and whom I worship, reached down, slapped me upside the head and said,, "Indeed" (now in case I have to clarify, I didn't literally see His hand reach down from heaven and hear His voice, but I did feel a heavy feeling in my stomach and my heart sinking and my conscience began to hurt). I mean here I was getting all upset, being frustrated, judging someone else, and being indignant that everything just wasn't going my way. Oh what a sight I must have been--what a picture I must have painted. Why I bet I looked just like someone who was . . . .lost!
peace and prayers,