Building A Broken Heart

Nobody likes to have their heart broken. But, if we live any length of time and have any quality relationships, if we participate in life to any degree, we all end up at one time or another with a broken heart. I am not just talking about the kind of broken heart we get when we are in Jr. High and the boy we like doesn't like us and our feelings get hurt. And I am not just talking about the kind of broken heart we have when we don't make the team. Those events can definitely have devastating effects on a young, tender spirit. It usually doesn't take much time for such breaks in a tender heart to heal. But, as one grows and matures, the opportunities for broken hearts increase. As we grow into adulthood, our world expands and therefore the potential for relationships expand, the recognition of the value of relationships expand and even the expectations we have of others expand. All of these are a recipe for a broken heart.
God has given us the ability to love. Most of us, could at any moment, list a dozen or more people whom we truly love. That list might include our parents, our spouses, our children, our siblings, our best friends, or church family. There are some on that list that we love enough to lay down our lives for. Some who, if not there, would leave a chasm too large to cross--some whom we love so intensely and so deeply that our hearts are forever marked by their presence in our lives. These relationships are sweet and wonderful and we have grown so used to them. Our lives are completed by them--they are more than accessories to a good life, they are components of a good life. Because we love them so intensely and so deeply, we also can be hurt by them just as deeply and just as intensely. Whether our heart is broken as a result of a betrayed trust or the loss of a loved one or because of sin, I believe our hearts break in direct proportion to how much they love.
When our hearts are broken, I mean really broken, the kind of broken where we fight back tears on a daily basis, the kind of broken that feels like our hearts are shattered into the bottom of our stomach, the pieces rubbing back and forth, grinding and cutting all day and all night, the kind of broken where the loss is so heavy we can barely breathe, that kind of brokenness---when we are broken like that, we usually feel so alone. We feel the grief is more than we can bear, more than we will ever be able to bear. We feel that no one else on the planet either understands or even cares. And despair becomes our bed partner, our soul mate, and ever present shadow. Our lives are impacted to the point that our broken heart handicaps us. We don't know what to do. We find ourselves unable to make wise decisions. We are helpless and hopeless and our heart just keeps on breaking.
If someone only had a magic remedy, something that would miraculously take away the pain, that would immediately heal and mend the heart, something that would help us breathe again, love again, hope again. That kind of immediate healing would rob us of the experience. I know, I know, those who are grieving wonder , "why would I even want this experience?" And they are right, none of us want this experience, none of us would choose to suffer this way. But I encourage us to just consider what happens when our hearts are broken. First, we become so helpless that we become more dependent on God than ever. We may reach out to others and to other things to help comfort us, only to find they are ineffective. We end up turning to the only One who can help---that is a good thing. Second, when we are on the other side of grief, we can minister to others with an empathy others lack. II Corinthians 1:3-4- tells us that we are comforted so that we can comfort others, broken hearts expand our ministry--that is a good thing. Third, we develop a new appreciation for the sacrifice God made. We cannot lose someone, we cannot experience the betrayal of one closest to us, we cannot be falsely accused, lied about and have our reputation slandered without understanding a little bit more just how much Jesus loves us. And that is a good thing.
There is a verse in Psalm 51 that says "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart O God, you will not despise." When we think of the word "despise" we think of synonyms like loathe and hate, but the word also means "to regard as unworthy of one's interest or concern." God does not despise our broken heart---He is concerned, He does care, He is interested and He will provide healing and comfort.
We cannot escape broken hearts. Day by day, we build relationships. We marry, we have children, we make friends. We build a loving heart--that is only right. God wants us to love, He wants us to be loving people. As we build our loving heart, we are aware of the potential for heartbreak. I believe this is one way we are created in God's image. He loves us, His heart is filled with love for us, but we have broken His heart more than once. As we become more like Jesus everyday, we will love more deeply and more fully. And on the flip side, we will also suffer more intensely.

Neva
"I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing His sufferings. . ." Philippians 3:10