Dancing in the Light

I John 1:7 "If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, His Son, cleanses us from all sin."

Location: North Platte, Nebraska, United States

I am a christian wife, mother and grandmother. I am a licensed Social worker and a licensed Christian counselor. I am most proud of the relationships I have with God, my family and friends all over the world. I have been blessed beyond my dreams.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Locus of Control

When I worked in psych, we had many patients with problems regarding locus of control. Some were struggling with internal locus, believing they personally could control events. Others struggled with external locus, convinced that others controlled events in their lives. Whether internal or external, the struggle was the same. The patient's battle for control was seemingly unending and seemingly hopeless. Psych patients aren't the only ones who struggle with control issues.
I would venture to say that each and every one of us have struggled with control. Some of us have no self-control and therefore fall prey to addictions, to weight problems, overwhelming financial debt, problems with lying or gossip and other manifestations of being "out of control". Others of us, in an attempt to control everything and everyone around us, create relationship problems, experience daily frustrations, and go on frequent "power trips." And some of us, struggle with both.
Self-control should be an important part of a Christian's life. Listed as one of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22, it keeps company with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness , goodness, faithfulness and gentleness---all characteristics describing the Spirit driven, Spirit indwelled Christian. Self-control is listed as one of the qualifications of both deacons and elders and I Thessalonians reminds us all to be self-controlled. I Peter says we should "prepare our minds for action, be self-controlled." And later it says we should be self controlled so we can pray and that we should be self-controlled and alert. So obviously, self-control is an attribute we should possess. We should be in control of ourselves! And when we are not, we have problems.
Control issues also occur when we attempt to control those around us. We know our relationships would be much more fulfilling if others would just do what we say. We would never struggle with our marriages if our husbands would just try to do things our way. We would never stress over our children if they would just obey and do what we tell them. Our work would be great if everyone there would just do what we ask, the way we ask, and in the time frame we expect. Sounds sort of silly doesn't it? Yet, millions of us struggle with relationships because we attempt to control others.
As we mature as Christians, as we grow in our Christian walk, we have to reach the point when we realize, accept and embrace the fact that we are not God. There is a God and we are not Him. As God, our creator, is truly the One---the only One with the ability to control. If we insist, He will allow us to believe we are in control of things around us. Because we do not have the ability to control anything but ourselves, we usually make a mess of things. We are like the toddler learning to walk, our Father reaches down His hand to help us and we say, "I can do it" and jerk away only to fall and skin our knees.
We can neither control events nor can we control people. God does not ask us to, He does not expect us to, and He does not want us to. He has both the power and ability to control all and even with that power and ability, He chooses to give us choice--He expects us to control ourselves and only ourselves. It is all about Lordship---He is our Lord. He will help us become less controlling of others and more controlling of ourselves. He will govern our lives if we just let Him. The locus of control, neither external or internal-----it has to be eternal.
If we would work on controlling ourselves, I am convinced we would be a people with fewer weight problems, less financial debt, more fulfilling relationships and fewer life frustrations. We have to let God control what is His to control and begin exercising the self-control that makes us better Christians----Christians with happier lives.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its so hard not to try to control everything---we give our troubles to God and then take them back.
Got to have control instead of letting go and letting God.
I enjoyed this
Thank you

11:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate being controlled!!! I struggle with even letting God control me. Part of my growing processes


4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was good. Everyone has control issues, and I mean everyone.


8:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is very powerful. You should write a book. you always make me think and reassess my life and my christian service. I appreciate it.


12:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with all the other comments. They say what I wanted tosay

Keep up the exellent posts


1:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very true!! Kind of stepped on my toes though.


12:23 AM  

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