Shame or Blame

Over the years, I have been intrigued with the biblical character David. Everything about him is paradoxical. He is the shepherd/king, the boy/giant slayer, the hunted/comforter, the enemy/ son-in-law, and the man after God's own heart/adulterer-murderer. These just don't make sense to me. None of them seem to go together and yet they are each testimonials of his character.
The last one is the one I struggle with most. You know the story. David, the king, sees another man's wife---not just any man, but one of his own trusted and loyal soldiers, and when he lays eyes on her, he wants her. So, he sends for her and commits adultery with her. She becomes pregnant which sets into motion an attempt to cover up this sin. The final result is the murder of her husband. There are so many sins committed by this king, he is not fighting with his men when he should be, he spies Bathsheba and instead of looking away, he lusts after her. He uses his position, (given him by God), and sends for her, although the text says God had already given him many wives. He has sexual relations with her and then sends her home. When he finds out she is pregnant, he tries to get her husband to sleep with her so the child will appear to be conceived within the bounds of marriage. When her husband refuses, he sends him to the forefront of the battle and again uses his power to order the other soldiers to abandon him, making sure he loses his life. There were also so many chances for him to escape, chances for him to repent, chances for him to confess and stop. Yet, he did not take any of them. This sin, like most sins, snowballed on God's king.
And like most sins, the repercussions or consequences were great. David and his household would pay dearly for his sins. So, how could this sinful, lusting, murdering, adulterer be a man after God's own heart? As you read through the story and then read the Psalms, it is easy to see that once his sin was pointed out, the shepherd king's heart was broken. He did not try to blame anyone else. Remember Adam in the garden, when confronted with his sin, he says "that woman you gave me" made me do it. That is typical of most humans--to try and lay the blame on another. This king of God's does just the opposite. He takes responsibility and is ashamed of his behavior. He pays the consequences with dignity and without arguing or negotiating. He does not make excuses, deny the accusation, nor does he feel sorry for himself. He takes his punishment and then gets on with the business God had for him.
His response is amazing and almost unnatural. Not too long ago, a president of ours was caught in an adulterous affair. His response was so different from David's. When you look at them side by side, it is very easy to see who God's man is.
I want to be more like David than like our former president. I, like this king, am exposed to opportunities to sin every single day. Unlike him, I want to look for ways to escape the sin, to flee from it. But when I sin, and I will, I want to be able to admit it, take responsibility for it, to feel ashamed of it, to take my consequences, repent and get on with the business God has for me, without blaming anyone else.
I am convinced this is what made David the man after God's own heart. He was not perfect, but he was contrite and broken by his sinfulness. I want to be a woman after God's own heart. I know this requires a change in the way I handle sin. If David can do it, I know I can too.

Psalm 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit and a contrite heart. A broken and contrite heart O God , you will not despise."

Neva